And the Oscar goes to…
10. März 2010 geschrieben von USAmedMe! in my role as the clueless medical student dressed as a real-life doctor! I’d like to thank… all residents honest and humble enough to admit they also don’t always have a clue and for showing me how to admit I don’t have the answer without feeling bad or guilty about it and without losing my professionalism and authority. And I’d like to thank all of the patients who didn’t throw me out of the room after they found out what “PJ” means. Not to mention the laundry service for keeping my appearance sparkling white!
Ok, seriously, I have had some down time this week and realized how far I’ve come. I was so scared to start my final year- I was so scared of what I don’t know yet! I was scared to make a mistake and to not know something! I’ve really learned two things- 1) I know so much less than I initially thought I did and 2) it’s not only ok to not know things and be a beginner- it’s just the way things are, I need to accept it and live it if I am ever to move on.
For example, I got to perform a minor procedure as the “operating surgeon” the other day using local anesthesia. The attending also scrubbed in and explained every step to me. I was embarrassed that the patient heard that I was a beginner and had never done it, I was really nervous. Did I do everything perfectly? No! But I learned a lot and it all turned out well. The best part is, the patient THANKED me when I finished! I felt like a movie star!
The other “Eureka” moment occurred when I was showing a fourth-semester student how to draw blood. She was really nervous and was afraid to look at the patient, afraid of making mistakes, afraid of rejection. Man, I knew exactly how she felt- that’s how I still feel when I am challenged to take it to the next level. I realize that I’ve learned how to mask it more- which not only makes the patient feel better, but it makes me more confident as well.
There may be no yearly awards ceremony and I may not waltz around in chiffon robes, but I’ve decided to be motivated every day to earn the “Oscar for Professionality”.
(isn’t that like the end of a cheesy American sit-com? Aren’t you just waiting for the group hug and the theme song?)
