Awkward Situations…
I’m a friendly girl. I smile a lot- I’ve heard some people accuse me of smiling pathologically, but that’s another post… I love when patients joke back with me, I feel like I’ve accomplished something if I can get them to laugh for a moment because that means they’ve forgotten their pain or fear.
I once drained a wound seroma in an elderly gentleman without local anesthesia. When I finished and thanked him for his patience, he blew me a kiss as his thanks. I was amused- and flattered.
When a colleague once asked another older male patient if he minded that I, a medical student, watched the exam, he said “not at all, she will make a very pretty doctor, look at those nice teeth!”. I blushed and thanked him and thought it was nice. My ultra-feminist (quasi) colleague got all huffy and later told me she thought that was inexcusable. “I’m not that sensitive- I think he was just trying to be nice”, said I.
Well, a few months later, while admitting and examining a patient, he invited me over to his house to “help him with his physical therapy”. I was so shocked- especially because he had been so bland and polite till then- I just laughed and moved on. When he made pleasurable groaning noises AS I WAS DRAWING HIS BLOOD, saying “it felt soooo good”, it was all I could do to keep myself from stabbing him with the needle and shoving the test tube up his nose. THAT was highly inappropriate. Almost all of my colleagues at the time (90% male) thought it was hilarious and didn’t take me seriously when I said I didn’t feel comfortable going into that patient’s room alone anymore. My one female colleague told me to stay professional, and say something directly next time it happened. Luckily, I never had to go in alone after that and he never did it when everyone else was around.
A few weeks later another patient told me not to kiss him when I asked him to close his eyes as part of the neuro exam. We had had a very pleasant talk about his unfortunately dismal prognosis- so I was very caught off-guard and confused. I ignored it and when I asked him to sit so I could listen to his heart he invited me to sit in his lap and made some other crude comments. I continued the exam in silence and left as quickly as possible. Luckily the doctors on that ward took more time to talk to me about strategies for that sort of thing.
I am always too shocked to say anything the moment it happens- I get tongue-tied. Now I’ve come up with a few polite but firm phrases I can use to show that I am (or will be) the doctor, I am to be respected, and I am in charge. Inappropriate commentary is not welcome.
What are your thoughts and/or experiences?
Am 15. Juni 2010 um 17:19 Uhr
I am currently doing my internship as a nurse. As a male nurse – I am male student.
One of my female colleagues told me and my team about a very rude patient. She wanted to open his bandage and then he allegedly said that she has no chance and that she is not his type anyway – so he was offensive, right. Everybody in our team especially the female nurses were quite shocked and they even called a doc to let him discuss the problem with the patient.
Strange enough that I got to know this patient before my colleague’s report: He was just a normal patient like every other one. And yesterday I had the feeling that he was very friendly and also a little bit withdrawn – and not so aggressive as my colleague described.
Maybe it is just because I am male. However, I don’t think he’d behave in such a different way to me.
In my opinion one should be able to detect those comments which are meant to be funny and those which are not.
In the end, no patient who got at least some brains would ever make himself unappealing by saying bad things, wouldn’t he?
Am 17. Juni 2010 um 17:32 Uhr
Well I agree, some people are really just making jokes- especially since they’re nervous and feeling inferior. I do have to say, though, that people are more courageous in saying things when only 1 other person is in the room, instead of a whole group of people…