nefgeländefahrer
19.10.2003, 14:11
Cover your ass! (CYA)
Sometimes people will die despite our best efforts!
In the event of Rule 2 refer to Rule 1!
Just remember it's their emergency, not yours!
Asystole is a very stable rythmn!
Dead people very seldom get any better, but they never get worse!
If it felt good saying it, you probably shouldn't have!
A patients weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in a building!
Can you walk? ....Have you tried? (see Rule 8)
If EMS workers never eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom...nobody would ever get sick or injured!
The amount of whining an injured patient does is in inverse proportion to the severity of their injuries!
Be scared of the child that isn't crying!
If you go on an MVA after midnight and don't find a drunk...keep looking...someone is missing!
All bleeding stops eventually!
Equipment will fail only at the time that you really need it!
Better to be looking at it than looking for it! (reference your equipment)
Expect to get screwed and you won't be disappointed!
Submitted by: David
EMT/Paramedic Assistant, PennsylvaniaPaid Professional, 18 years
If you have to ask, seek a refresher course
Never ASSUME (because if there was ever a profession that it could biteyou in the ass, this is it.)
Never take the previous call with you to the next.
There is no I in the word TEAM.
Be able to turn it on and off like a light bulb or it will catch up withyou and burn you out.
Submitted by: Rob
Paramedic, Ann Arbor, Michigan
All bleeding will eventually stop.
All patients will eventually die.
If you drop the baby, fake a seizure!!!
The rule of 3's - If it's 3:00am and there is 3 flights of stairs theywill be 300+ pounds !!!
Submitted by: Mitch
Skinny people don't need ambulances!
The patient will always be in the most difficult part of the house there is to get them out of, (up steep stairs, in the basement, or in the back bedroom of a house trailer).
The size of the car is in inverse proportion to the patient (its always the 300+ women that wrecked her Yugo!)
Submitted by: Michael
Woodsboro, MD
"Air goes in, Air goes out, and Blood goes round and round." Anything other than that is bad thing.
Submitted by: Travis
I go home at the end of the shift
My partner goes home at the end of the shift
Any variation of rule 1 or 2 is NOT allowed
If you don't recognize the rhythm shock it till you do.
Submitted by: Vinny
An oxygen mask is NOT a source of entertainment !
Submitted by: Gary
Paramedic, Nova Scotia, Canada
If it's wet or sticky and not yours - Don't touch it !
Submitted by: Roger
When you get old, always live on the first floor of the house. People only get sick on the second floor.
When you get old, and live in an apartment building, always live near the elevator. Only people who live at the end of the hall get sick.
When things really get you down, remember the Paramedic Code. "We can't bring back the dead, only kill the living"
Submitted by: Tracy
Never tell your superior that m.s.d.s. stands for my sh*t don't stink...they'll never believe you anyway.
Submitted by: Steve
Always remember that code 3 makes you invisible.
Submitted by: Sean
Asystole: The mother of all bradycardias.
Submitted by: Bradley
Go Big or Go Home.
You get a 3 just for showing up-Glascow coma scale
If there blue... give'um O2
During lunch remember "Never trust a skinny cook"
Submitted by: Carolyn
Cardiology lesson.. "bumps are good, flat is bad"
Oxygenaton lesson......no one should look like Papa Smurf!
Submitted by: Ken
Don't be the first one thru the door.
Don't be teamed up with anyone braver than you.
When in doubt, the mike is keyed.
Submitted by: Barak
If everything goes right and your patient is happy, look for it! Something must be wrong...
Make sure you'll get flowers from the familly and not the familly get flowers from you...
Children crying do it to show you they're alive.
Submitted by: Crystal
When working a code and all else fails drop the pt. it could be the right answer.
If all else fails use O2 (the miricale drug).
If you start to understand the Psychs. its time for a 72 vacation.
The Psych. doctors are scarier than most of the pts.
Submitted by: Anonymous
Always remember the ABC's of EMS; Ambulate Before Care
Submitted by: Marcie - ACP in Ontario Canada
That dog that "never bites"...REALLY DOES
Never trust your vehicle to be fully stocked.
If you don't have it, improvise.
Your immune system is so well developed it has been know to attack squirrels in the back yard
Submitted by: Laura
"Speed up or slow down, but get the hell out of MY way!!!"
Submitted by: Bridget
Only skinny people live on the first floor.
Submitted by: Terry
When the moon is full you will not get much sleep.
When you show up if he is cold you are to late.
Always give Narcan near the hospital not on scene.
When you ask someone how much they have drank it is always just one beer not the truth how many they really have.
Submitted by: Andy
Don't get too comfy the EMS gods will be watching.
When the going gets tough adapt, improvise, and overcome.
At 3AM when its calm tell the rookie not to say a word.
If it smells like gangrene when the lights are out don't be suprised when you turn them on. (Just shake your boots out later.)
Submitted by: Christina
If you don't see it, you don't hear it, but you smell it! the first assumption was right, no need to examine.
If its Loose, don't pull on it..
If it's tight dont loosen it....
And if you think you might have known where it belonged , but your not sure, put it back where you found it!!!!
Sometimes people will die despite our best efforts!
In the event of Rule 2 refer to Rule 1!
Just remember it's their emergency, not yours!
Asystole is a very stable rythmn!
Dead people very seldom get any better, but they never get worse!
If it felt good saying it, you probably shouldn't have!
A patients weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in a building!
Can you walk? ....Have you tried? (see Rule 8)
If EMS workers never eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom...nobody would ever get sick or injured!
The amount of whining an injured patient does is in inverse proportion to the severity of their injuries!
Be scared of the child that isn't crying!
If you go on an MVA after midnight and don't find a drunk...keep looking...someone is missing!
All bleeding stops eventually!
Equipment will fail only at the time that you really need it!
Better to be looking at it than looking for it! (reference your equipment)
Expect to get screwed and you won't be disappointed!
Submitted by: David
EMT/Paramedic Assistant, PennsylvaniaPaid Professional, 18 years
If you have to ask, seek a refresher course
Never ASSUME (because if there was ever a profession that it could biteyou in the ass, this is it.)
Never take the previous call with you to the next.
There is no I in the word TEAM.
Be able to turn it on and off like a light bulb or it will catch up withyou and burn you out.
Submitted by: Rob
Paramedic, Ann Arbor, Michigan
All bleeding will eventually stop.
All patients will eventually die.
If you drop the baby, fake a seizure!!!
The rule of 3's - If it's 3:00am and there is 3 flights of stairs theywill be 300+ pounds !!!
Submitted by: Mitch
Skinny people don't need ambulances!
The patient will always be in the most difficult part of the house there is to get them out of, (up steep stairs, in the basement, or in the back bedroom of a house trailer).
The size of the car is in inverse proportion to the patient (its always the 300+ women that wrecked her Yugo!)
Submitted by: Michael
Woodsboro, MD
"Air goes in, Air goes out, and Blood goes round and round." Anything other than that is bad thing.
Submitted by: Travis
I go home at the end of the shift
My partner goes home at the end of the shift
Any variation of rule 1 or 2 is NOT allowed
If you don't recognize the rhythm shock it till you do.
Submitted by: Vinny
An oxygen mask is NOT a source of entertainment !
Submitted by: Gary
Paramedic, Nova Scotia, Canada
If it's wet or sticky and not yours - Don't touch it !
Submitted by: Roger
When you get old, always live on the first floor of the house. People only get sick on the second floor.
When you get old, and live in an apartment building, always live near the elevator. Only people who live at the end of the hall get sick.
When things really get you down, remember the Paramedic Code. "We can't bring back the dead, only kill the living"
Submitted by: Tracy
Never tell your superior that m.s.d.s. stands for my sh*t don't stink...they'll never believe you anyway.
Submitted by: Steve
Always remember that code 3 makes you invisible.
Submitted by: Sean
Asystole: The mother of all bradycardias.
Submitted by: Bradley
Go Big or Go Home.
You get a 3 just for showing up-Glascow coma scale
If there blue... give'um O2
During lunch remember "Never trust a skinny cook"
Submitted by: Carolyn
Cardiology lesson.. "bumps are good, flat is bad"
Oxygenaton lesson......no one should look like Papa Smurf!
Submitted by: Ken
Don't be the first one thru the door.
Don't be teamed up with anyone braver than you.
When in doubt, the mike is keyed.
Submitted by: Barak
If everything goes right and your patient is happy, look for it! Something must be wrong...
Make sure you'll get flowers from the familly and not the familly get flowers from you...
Children crying do it to show you they're alive.
Submitted by: Crystal
When working a code and all else fails drop the pt. it could be the right answer.
If all else fails use O2 (the miricale drug).
If you start to understand the Psychs. its time for a 72 vacation.
The Psych. doctors are scarier than most of the pts.
Submitted by: Anonymous
Always remember the ABC's of EMS; Ambulate Before Care
Submitted by: Marcie - ACP in Ontario Canada
That dog that "never bites"...REALLY DOES
Never trust your vehicle to be fully stocked.
If you don't have it, improvise.
Your immune system is so well developed it has been know to attack squirrels in the back yard
Submitted by: Laura
"Speed up or slow down, but get the hell out of MY way!!!"
Submitted by: Bridget
Only skinny people live on the first floor.
Submitted by: Terry
When the moon is full you will not get much sleep.
When you show up if he is cold you are to late.
Always give Narcan near the hospital not on scene.
When you ask someone how much they have drank it is always just one beer not the truth how many they really have.
Submitted by: Andy
Don't get too comfy the EMS gods will be watching.
When the going gets tough adapt, improvise, and overcome.
At 3AM when its calm tell the rookie not to say a word.
If it smells like gangrene when the lights are out don't be suprised when you turn them on. (Just shake your boots out later.)
Submitted by: Christina
If you don't see it, you don't hear it, but you smell it! the first assumption was right, no need to examine.
If its Loose, don't pull on it..
If it's tight dont loosen it....
And if you think you might have known where it belonged , but your not sure, put it back where you found it!!!!